Hi There. It’s me. Rhea.
I’ve been pretty quiet for the past eight months. Have you ever had a time in your life when you realized that your ambition had gotten in front of your aspiration? And that you were working really hard to push a boulder up a hill, only to find out that you could just step aside and let it go?
Last April I came to the realization that I was working far too hard, and that the whispers of my heart were getting overshadowed by the ambitious strategies in my head. I decided to take a break from leading the My Love Bomb Program. The program is currently on a major sabbatical. I realized that the format I was creating with leading, guiding, and supporting facilitators, while coming from a very heart driven-place and actually incredibly fulfilling relationship wise, was actually becoming a model of management that was burying me in administration and tech with no time to actually create and really connect with others. It was also a model that needed my time at all times, so I hadn’t had a real vacation in several years. I was ALWAYS working. You know those glamorous, hay look at me, I have a phone or computer and I’m working at the beach pictures? Yeah. Not glamorous. That’s work. At a beach. Come on now! It also meant during my many hours of mom time, I was totally distracted with a million gajillion to do’s. I was never really present.
My business models also had me married to Facebook and Social Media. Oh. And Mailchimp. I was making content faster than I could really sit with experience. Ruminate on ideas. Let them come and go. Be someone who doesn’t know for awhile. Learn. Be super humble.
I have taken a break from “copy writing” emails to you and from posting messages of “wisdom” on Facebook and elsewhere. I decided to slow my roll. My personal challenge has been to slow sharing so much that my mind actually starts organizing thoughts again in a natural way vs. a “status update” way. Speaking to me instead of a constant imaginary pedestal. And yeah, I do love that too, I have an innate desire to speak and share, but it is such a fine line between always thinking out vs. allowing life to ruminate within as a quiet experience between me and God. Happy to say that it took probably 3-4 months of holding back, but I no longer think in status updates. Phew!
If you are engaged in social media than you might know, wow, before even taking in an experience and allowing it’s richness of life to absorb into your being, to sit, sink in, be, then maybe even dissolve, boom! You’ve snapped it and shared it. The subtle essence of life just deflected, given away, all day. What is left then that is truly your’s? I see it now as a form of becoming hungry because you don’t digest life, so there you are, always looking for more, hungry hungry, and looking to get this fulfillment from the dopamine hits of likes vs. the constant gifts life is giving all day long in subtler forms.
And what, oh what, is my authentic voice, not the voice of “LOOK AT ME PLEASE OH MY GOD VALIDATE” but rather, here, I have a gift, there it is, shining like a flower blossoms to give it’s tender light, here, then gone. Natural.
Do you know that I was also proud, really proud, of the fact that I was so organized that in moments of 10-15 minutes I could produce podcasts, make “big” differences, run businesses? I even promoted teaching others to do the same thing. Well, I am going to admit this, and it’s a bit radical, but I threw my Passion Planner in the trash about six months ago. Ha. Yep. Tossed it in. Do you know now what I do with extra 5, 10, and 15 minute breaks? I sit. I meditate (I’ve been using the “Inner Balance” app from HeartMath Institute. So. Great. More on coherence practice another time). I also stare out the window and intentionally get bored. (By the way it’s been fun to see the research coming out on the benefits of boredom. Try it. See if you can get yourself bored at least once a day, it’s good for your health!)
Sometimes I also pick up a book or catch up on my absolutely ridiculous Instagram feed. I stopped doing Facebook but I keep doing Instagram for sheer entertainment. For depth I go to blogs, books, and oh, I notice when I’m not in contact with friends because instead of following them, I don’t, so you know what, I miss them! Then I reach out. I’ve even taken to “slow friendship” by writing letters to long distance friends.
Do you know that along with the benefits of boredom is also the benefit of not filling your mind with more content than it can actually possibly process fully in a day? Even benign information about friends at the amount that many of us have taken in (my feed was at the thousands) is not actually possible to digest, not only that, but it’s detrimental to your mental health and body. Again. Getting bored. Important. If you want to think your own thoughts and feel your own innate voice and what is important for it to say, staying out of the popular culture fray of dictated this is the important thing for you to be figuring out and have an opinion on thing is pretty amazing to avoid.
So, why this email? I thought it was time to respectfully say hello and fill you in. I feel this loving thread with those of you here, on this list. We have had some beautiful and meaningful exchanges over the years and many of you supported me in bringing out Love Bomb, and many of you connected to me through the You Matter groups. And while I let go of steering the You Matter ship, many of the groups are actually still going either under the same name or a new one. I’ve kept the Napa one going though we’re also on sabbatical now ha. Rest. Holidays. Do Less.
And what is next for us here? Well. I’m letting that gestate. I am slow creating. I am a creator so I know that there is more bubbling up (okay admittedly there are many book ideas written down). But I’m also really consciously working to allow what arises to be that of depth. An artistic arising connected to the divine within expressing to the divine without. Maybe I’ll touch my blog again. We’ll see. No deadlines.
So there you have it. My little update :).
Blessings and Respect,
Dr. Rhea Zimmerman Komarek